Shortly after we found out we were pregnant, John sent me this sweet card detailing his excitement over what would happen over the next several months and of prospect of raising a kid together:
I’m not sure my belly’s quite so exaggerated yet but, with my recently acquired outie belly button, I’m well on my way.
At our recent prenatal, the midwife performed Leopold’s maneuvers (an abdominal exam to determine the position and size of the fetus), then looked at my weight tracking. “Well, your weight is exactly where it should be. How big were each of you when you were born?” I was 8 pounds, 3 ounces. John was well over nine pounds. “I think you have a very long baby in there. Don’t worry, you’re tall and you have big feet, you can handle it.” Some (additional?) good news is that the baby’s vertex (head down, ideal for delivery); hopefully she’ll stay that way so that I might be able to deliver vaginally this giant of a child I’m growing.
anna in med school 
Long babies are completely noooooo problem. I don’t know why anybody ever brags about having one, and I don’t know why the midwife even said anything about it. All they do is take a slightly longer time slipping out, once the head and shoulders are delivered. It’s head size that really makes a difference!
All four of my deliveries were unmedicated—well, okay, I got some lidocaine or something after one of them so that could be stitched up. I guess I’m unusual. ::shrug:: At that time, I was very very leery of drugs and alcohol and everything like that, so I would do practically anything rather than be medicated. Besides, the Bradley method really did help a LOT. Lots of learning how to relax a part of your body that is in pain and naturally tenses up. Years of allergy shots helped with that!
Our biggest baby (who shall remain unnamed, as s/he is thoroughly tired of hearing about it) was 8 lb. 12 oz. and took 3.25 hours, start to finish. Rather intense, but everything was over with quickly. Our longest labor was 29 hours, with a break in the middle, but first labors generally last about a day anyway.
Seriously, if you want to have no drugs, then don’t have any. And if things get too painful for you, and it isn’t too late in labor for it to make any difference, then they’ll give you something. It happens and then it’s over with and you get a wonderful present at the end!
Oh, and don’t be surprised if your brain doesn’t work. With #1 (whom you do not know), apparently I kept asking the same question, forgetting that I had asked it before. Finally the doctor told my husband with amusement and exasperation, “The woman’s in hard labor and she wants to understand!” Nobody ever told me this, but it makes sense: when you’re in labor, I guess all available oxygen goes to the delivery area and your brain is left high and dry. Just relax your entire body, lean into John (physically and mentally), and trust him to do everything you need.
Please note that I’m not saying, “Don’t bother your pretty little head about such things.” I’m just saying that this is one time when your intellect may desert you, which can be disconcerting, and that’s why you will need a trusted birth partner. I bet John will be terrific. 🙂
And you are going to come through this with shining colors. You look wonderful, you’re healthy, the baby is doing beautifully, and everything will be Just Fine. If you have to have a mantra, that one works: everything will be juuuuuuust fiiiiiiine.
Long overdue, but thank you so much for this note, Melissa. I love all the pointers and encouragement!
And I love the story about your brain during labor. I know it’s not the same, but I have definitely experienced a few moments of quintessential “pregnancy brain” when I feel like my mind literally turns off, or just kind of goes on hiatus. Just need to make it through one more shelf exam…
First “mindful birthing” class on Monday, will bring your mantra with me 🙂
Thank you again, and I’m sorry I’ve been poor at communicating in a timely fashion
Silly! You’re a pregnant med student! Reply when you can or want to, don’t reply when you can’t or don’t want to! It’s always delightful to hear from you, but chill! 😀
“Pregnancy brain” is one thing. You actually know your brain isn’t quite working then. When I was in hard labor with #1, I had no idea that my brain wasn’t working. I’m not even sure that I would have known if somebody had told me it was going to happen. I thought I was in full possession of my usually-considerable faculties. Somebody really needs to tell pregnant parents about this, it seems to me. Or at least tell pregnant TJ alums and their ilk, because they’re the kind of people who expect to understand everything!
haha, I hear you! I’ll pass along the message to my husband and all the TJers 🙂 Thank you very much!