Archive | 5:22 am

terms of endearment

7 Aug

There’s a fabulous gynecologic oncologist who we each get to work with for a week on Ob/Gyn.  He gives us nicknames, things like “Junior” or “Goose.”  Guess mine?

So…he was teasing me last week for being “like 43 weeks pregnant” as I struggled to squeeze between the table and the robot in the OR.  With no clever retort in mind (early days lead to a slow sense of humor), I think I said something along the lines of, “Hey, I’m only 29 weeks and change here!”  “29 WEEKS?!!  What have you been packing, FATSO?”  (I can’t be offended because I figure that he would never call me that if it was true…right?  RIGHT?)

He also loves to do things like introduce me to a patient and quickly explain without prompting, “And, no, she’s not really pregnant, so don’t make a thing about it, <through side mouth> she’s really sensitive about it…”  The horrified looks in response!  I guess when you cure people’s cancer, you can get away with being just a little “endearingly” inappropriate.

Lessons from oncology (not to get all preachy):

  1. If you can, please get your gardasil.  Even if you’re not going to have sex for decades…like many vaccines, it actually is more effective if you get your doses younger.
  2. Seriously, pap smears, a pain in the ass, granted…but the combination of pap smear screening and HPV testing reduces a woman’s risk of dying of cervical cancer by 90%.  What other cancer screen does that?
  3. If you’re over 35 and experience abnormal vaginal bleeding (whether a drop or a bucket), please see a doctor.  Endometrial cancer is one of the few malignancies that actually flies its own red flag before it’s not too late to do something about it.