terms of endearment

7 Aug

There’s a fabulous gynecologic oncologist who we each get to work with for a week on Ob/Gyn.  He gives us nicknames, things like “Junior” or “Goose.”  Guess mine?

So…he was teasing me last week for being “like 43 weeks pregnant” as I struggled to squeeze between the table and the robot in the OR.  With no clever retort in mind (early days lead to a slow sense of humor), I think I said something along the lines of, “Hey, I’m only 29 weeks and change here!”  “29 WEEKS?!!  What have you been packing, FATSO?”  (I can’t be offended because I figure that he would never call me that if it was true…right?  RIGHT?)

He also loves to do things like introduce me to a patient and quickly explain without prompting, “And, no, she’s not really pregnant, so don’t make a thing about it, <through side mouth> she’s really sensitive about it…”  The horrified looks in response!  I guess when you cure people’s cancer, you can get away with being just a little “endearingly” inappropriate.

Lessons from oncology (not to get all preachy):

  1. If you can, please get your gardasil.  Even if you’re not going to have sex for decades…like many vaccines, it actually is more effective if you get your doses younger.
  2. Seriously, pap smears, a pain in the ass, granted…but the combination of pap smear screening and HPV testing reduces a woman’s risk of dying of cervical cancer by 90%.  What other cancer screen does that?
  3. If you’re over 35 and experience abnormal vaginal bleeding (whether a drop or a bucket), please see a doctor.  Endometrial cancer is one of the few malignancies that actually flies its own red flag before it’s not too late to do something about it.

4 Responses to “terms of endearment”

  1. phantomdiver August 7, 2012 at 8:49 am #

    Of course he wouldn’t call you Fatso if you were really fat. You are fruitful! Productive! Vibrant! You look like a ship under full sail! That last was one of my favorites, by the way. It’s a compliment in so many ways, and it made me happy—not to mention smug and superior . . . but hey, anything to help a pregnant woman, right? Any port in a storm, as it were. ::snort::

  2. ahyesplans August 8, 2012 at 5:37 pm #

    If I can judge by the previous pictures, you are anything but fat during your pregnancy. You look like a totally normal girl who just shoved an enormous beach ball under her shirt. Don’t worry about anything!!

    PS- loved the tips. I used to do research on HPV, and I am so glad my brother just got the guardasil vaccine- yep, insurance did cover it!

    • annaojesus September 8, 2012 at 7:59 am #

      Hi! Oh, thank you–seriously, I like the image you just created, hoping it holds true for the next 5-6 weeks…with the expansion of said beach ball 🙂

      Cool about your brother! I’m at an outpatient clinic now, and I LOVE that gardasil is being covered by even the most basic insurance plans!

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