Just a warning: this post is probably going to be horribly boring unless you’re a first-time parent of a 3- to 6-month-old.
I know, I know. I’m already becoming one of those parents–the kind that I’m sure will drive me a little crazy if I’m lucky enough to one day be a pediatrician. But when I’m on Facebook, I swear I see a ton of updates saying something like, “Holy S—! My kid is only three months old and already rolling over! And he has all his adult teeth and is eating a steak! And he’s reading Joyce!” So when we hit the 5-month mark without any sign of rolling over, I had to suppress the differential diagnosis that started spinning in the back of my head.
It’s times like these when a baby monitor with infrared night vision (a wonderful gift from my Doctoring group–thank you!!) is a truly brilliant thing:
Turns out our little babe had issues of motivation.
anna in med school 
Yep! Why turn over if you don’t have to?
My six-month-old grandbaby occasionally says “UNGWEE!” pointedly to me when I’m babysitting her. But she doesn’t do it except in dire need, when I haven’t read her signals and fed her already. I hesitate to tell most people about this, especially because she started doing it at four months, and that is ridiculously early for speech, way earlier than I have seen with *any* baby, even TJ babies. In fact, I don’t really expect you to believe me, even when I tell you that she calms down when I tell her I’m about to warm her milk. Still, my point is that she does it only when she feels that life as she knows it will cease forever. Meg’s speech went from only a few words before a hospitalization at nine months to full sentences ten days later, after being stuck in every limb for IVs. (Poor little baby, the sentences were all imperatives about not sticking her.) There have been studies on that one—speech development in hospitalized babies of a certain age.
Anyway, my point is that necessity is the mother of development. Which you probably knew already. Oh, well, you can read fast, so this didn’t take much of your time . . .
Hi there! Sorry for the delay, but I did enjoy reading about your tremendously talented babies and grandbabies. And I have to agree with you, 100% 🙂
I love the second image – the Ari faceplant. Maybe you have a future stomach sleeper on your hands (takes one to know one…)!
hahahah! indeed. she still loves it, immediately flips herself as soon as we put her down. so sorry for the delay in response
When Liz was very little, she spoke a language that we could not understand. We, like most “yuppie” parents, rushed her to our pediatrician. His diagnosis: she was fine. We just didn’t understand her vocabulary. Still unsatisfied, and resisting the temptation to take her to specialists, not that we could afford any, we were forced to wait. Sure enough, one day out sprang the Queen’s English, with proper pronunciation, form and substance. She went on to become an inveterate reader with us racking up the miles to bookstores and library. In Honors classes all her life, language has opened up a vast and varied world to her. I am convinced she can do anything. All this and the best and most loving person I know. So, every child really does read Joyce, can fly with the Wallendas and climb Mt. Mehru. They can go to Science schools when they really love English and Chorus. And they can meet and marry a wonderful man, even if while they were a toddler, no one understood their language. Not to worry, Anna, every child is different, a miracle, a wonder. That’s just the way they are.
That’s so sweet!
Our oldest did not speak understandably until he was well past two, maybe even three. Actually, he didn’t do much of anything until well after the accepted milestones. Except have teeth, that is. He had four at four months, four more at seven months, and *eight* more at ten months. No teething problems until the eight came in pretty much at once, but I think that dealing with teeth probably took up all his developmental energy.
He’s a copyeditor now. Yeah, his language turned out just fine, and so did the rest of him. He’s the father of the baby I talked about above, who had only two teeth at four months. It’s tough for first-time well-educated parents to relax when their babies aren’t at least on the 50th percentile, but they mostly turn out great!
hahaha! At least I recognize that I’m being ridiculous–promise I do 🙂 Now we’re waiting for steps and a “mama” 🙂
This is beautiful! Thank you, John, and my apologies for the delay!