four weeks

14 Nov

It’s gone by in the blink of an eye.  I recently emailed a physician, with whom I was hoping to meet, back a week after she emailed me: “The last few weeks have been some of the best of my life but, unfortunately, I’ve been pretty behind on everything.  I apologize.”  To which she replied, “You should only be “caught up” with mom activities!!!!”  And then she suggested that I bring my daughter to the meeting.  I love kind people.

If I leave the house for 30 minutes a day, I really feel like I’ve accomplished something.  I know being a mom, and learning how to be a mom, is a big thing (if I offend anyone, please let me know)…I’m not sure what I envisioned…I just thought I would be able to do something else as well, just something relating to my field of study or passion…an hour a day?–an hour a week??  But I’ve been blessed with a cuddle monster of a child who is apparently going through a growth spurt and eating like crazy.  At present, I’m typing with my body at a 160-degree angle on the couch with my daughter breathing heavily and audibly sighing and squeaking on my chest.  I need to learn to be a more productive writer in this position…but I just keep getting distracted by the sound of her breathing, the transient puckering of her lips, the quiver of her eyelashes.

And then there’s this article regarding Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer’s decision to take a working three-week maternity leave.  I keep thinking about how much freedom I have to take the time with my daughter that I need, how much love and support we’ve received from every direction…and I still feel like I’m at my wits’ ends sometimes, perhaps even often.

To everyone: thank you.  Thank you for your help in providing me with the opportunity to love being a mother.  I hope I can pay it forward.

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3 Responses to “four weeks”

  1. phantomdiver November 15, 2012 at 9:29 am #

    Before they have experience with newborns, many people think about all the things they can accomplish while they are at home with a baby. After all, babies sleep 16 hours a day, right? Well, yes, but . . .

    Being a stay-at-home parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world and one of the most important. Some of it may come naturally to you—or not. But when you say that it’s difficult, ain’t nobody gonna disagree with you. Unless it’s somebody who knows nothing, that is.

    And that “working” three-week maternity leave? I’m not going to read the article right now, because I’m supposed to be cleaning up and stuff while Meg takes the older two kids to Mass (sh! don’t tell her!), but, well, she’ll be able to work only if she has household help. A lot of it. Either that or maybe she doesn’t need any sleep. Or else she was deluded when she made that plan. I had to go back to work at six weeks with my first baby, and it was not nearly enough time.

    You are doing beautifully. Don’t worry about it!

    • annaojesus December 4, 2012 at 8:19 pm #

      I love this note, thank you! I know a bunch of folks, like you, who had to go back after six weeks–I don’t know how you do it! I love school, but I’m dreading going back…in April–aren’t I spoiled! I guess, when you’re a paying student, it’s cheaper to take off than to hire help/put child in daycare…of course, it would probably make more financial sense in the long room to start my career as soon as possible…but we’re not thinking of that right now. When else in my career will I ever be able to take this time? Okay, sorry for the boring rant. Much love and appreciation!

  2. Tina S. November 15, 2012 at 3:48 pm #

    Anna, time is a crazy thing isn’t it? The four weeks before your little girl was born probably stretched on and felt like forever because of your anticipation and then these last four went by with the blink of an eye. I feel like Colton was 3 months old just yesterday, and Emma is already 5 1/2 months old. When did that happen?? Your life had been turned upside-down. In a good way, but upside-down nonetheless. You’ll find what works for you guys, its different for everyone. Just do what feels right, what makes you guys happy and what keeps you sane 🙂 don’t be so hard on yourself! Just do the best you can, and enjoy watching Aurelia make her adorable sucking faces when she sleeps. Those are my favorite and unfortunately they don’t last forever 😦

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