I give up. I keep telling myself this week will be different, that I’ll actually post consistently and remember all those gems of moments…the ridiculous thing a delirious patient said to me, the original and completely unoriginal comments made regarding my last name, my “endearing” moments of idiocy, inspiring words of wisdom and moments of complete lack of filter by my physician educators, all the times I got lost in like a 100-yard radius, etc. It’s been a week. I love it.
My time is very tight, so I think the next year is going to be an exercise in succinctness–clearly not my forte. I got off my “shift” a bit early today, so I wanted to at least jot a quick note before starting what will be my second abbreviated work-out of sorts in a week. I’m spending my first two weeks on “Med Consult.” Basically, I’m on a team with only a third-year resident and his attending–both of whom totally rock my socks!–and we are called by other services in the hospital (like surgery, OB, neuro, trauma) to consult on complicated patients. For the most part, it’s evaluating whether or not a patient can undergo a surgery safely if they have a preexisting condition (often multiple) and what addition evaluation or care they should receive. It’s pretty fascinating, really variable, and it’s forcing me to figure out my way around the hospital.
One of the best parts–and this is going to sound horrible–is that I’m the only student on my team. Not that I don’t love my classmates–I do!–but I actually think this is great way for me to build confidence and be honest with myself about what I do and don’t know. I am not the loudest. I am not the quickest. As a result I have frequently felt completely inadequate in comparison to my peers. The clinics…well, they make me feel inadequate in a totally different way (like when a physician asks me how long I’ll want to wean a patient off a drug I’ve never heard of…who knows, maybe he’s making it up? yeah…I’ll just tell myself that for now…). But it’s refreshing to get a chance to demonstrate what I know, and to be openly honest about what I don’t. Also–shocker!–physicians actually appreciate it when you’re honest about what you don’t know. English grad school was a time when it paid to “baffle them with bull” (…when one couldn’t “dazzle them with brilliance” –W. C. Fields). Not medicine.
SO many wonderful things that make clinics SO much better than power-point! Another plus: I see the stunning sunrise of Philadelphia from Founders 14 every morning. You know you’re jealous.
We think about you every day — you are finally in a clinical environment, doing what you were born to do. I, for one, am supremely jealous, and not just about the sunrises, but yes, that too.
Love
Dad
The best comment 🙂 Thanks so much, Dad! Love you and think of you so often as well.