anna in med school

In 13 days!!!

Love love LOVE our sexy little bachelorette!  I’ve been so lucky to know Jen for almost 13 years now.  Although we’d been singing together since my first year in high school, I think it was really Mr. Stuben’s pre-calc class that was responsible for us coming together as friends…the whole misery loves company thing, bonding over a shared torment.  And I’ve been following her lead ever since: first to UVA; then to Boston…now I’m trying to drag her ass down to Philly…the weather’s better here, I promise!

I met Dave about a month into their courtship in the summer of 2006.  Inevitably, when I describe them to others, one of the first sentences out of my mouth is, “It’s really hard to imagine a more perfectly matched couple.”  They’re wonderful on their own, but definitely even better together.  And, they’re one of those rare partnerships with which you can easily enjoy an evening or outing and not feel like a third wheel (they’re both so inclusive and generous in conversation)…which, during John’s first two years of residency in Boston, was a pretty sweet deal for me.

Well…you can probably guess where this post is going…something about Anna crying in public again.  A little over a month ago, in our Doctoring small group, we went around the room and were asked to share how we felt we were maintaining a work-life balance in med school.  Unlike other occasions, this fit of tears came on without warning.  I explained that I felt I did an okay job keeping a life outside of school but that I felt that, especially this past semester, I hadn’t been a particularly good friend to the people I love.  Just the day prior, I had sent Jen a lengthly email explaining that I didn’t think I could be at her wedding, which is in Massachusetts the weekend before our GI final.

I knew when I decided to enter the medical profession that I would miss a lot of important events.  I already have.  But Jen and Dave’s wedding might be first one that gnaws so cripplingly at the bottom of my stomach.  It makes me sick that I’m missing it.  132 people attended our wedding, and I swear that now, and likely for many many years, I could recite every name on the guest list,  and describe some of the intimate moments so fleetingly exchanged as I brushed their hands when my dad and I walked down the aisle, as John and I made the rounds during dinner, as we reveled on the dance floor.  Weddings are important; declaring a union in front of the people you love most in the world is a completely unique experience.  And I so very much wish that I was a responsible, efficient enough student to feel like I could make the trip to watch Jen and Dave get married without compromising my education.  In part, I already regret my decision.

Recently, I’ve been sharing a lot of Jen memories with my close friends at Penn.  It’s felt good to think and reflect about some of the many many things about this woman that make her a tremendous human being, a passionate musician, a dedicated lawyer, a courageous world adventurer, and one of the most caring, generous souls I’ve encountered.  I know you and Dave will have an exceedingly happy marriage.  I’m having a hard time finding the words for my wishes for the two of you, so I’ll leave with the words of Afghani-Turkish poet Mawlânâ Jalâl ad-Dîn Muhammad Balkhî:

May these vows and this marriage be blessed.
May it be sweet milk,
this marriage, like wine and halvah.
May this marriage offer fruit and shade
like the date palm.
May this marriage be full of laughter,
our every day a day in paradise.
May this marriage be a sign of compassion,
a seal of happiness here and hereafter.
May this marriage have a fair face and a good name,
an omen as welcomes the moon in a clear blue sky.
I am out of words to describe
how spirit mingles in this marriage.

No one can capture them better than the illustrious Julie Napear Wichern.

Happy Reunions, Class of 2006!!!  Part of my heart will definitely be with you this weekend.  Kathleen, please drink one of your famous mojitos for me, then transition to sangria.  All you other ‘hoos down in ‘hooville, bourbon and coke!

Some favorites:

trivia: Dr. Seuss got his inspiration for the Grinch from this dude who got rejected from UVA, got rich, and built a rotunda-looking mansion on top of O’Hill so that he could look down on all the wa‘hoos down in ‘hooville

traditions: trick-or-treating on the lawn

course: Ulysses and Modernity (which I suckered two of my music professors into taking with me…while we were students together, I got to call them by their first names)

drinks and eats: St. Maarten’s; Bluegrass Grille; Mas; Arch’s; feast; Mudhouse

garden (there are ten): VI (totally under-appreciated)

study spot: the Sally Brown Reading Room (there’s a fireplace!)

first-year memory: getting “rolled” by the newdos (my apologies to my suite, especially my RA, who I believe came out with a baseball bat)

worst decision: Eucharist power-hour

organizations: Musicians on Call; U-Singers; Newdos; ASB; Sustained Dialogue; the Speakers’ Bureau; SEP

mentors: Michael S; Marcia C; Chris K; Pamela B; Scott P; Anna B; Tico B; Raymond N

secret society: I have to say the Sevens…but I do love the Pumpkins!

outdoor activities: Old Rag Mountain hiking, Carter Mountain Orchards, and James River tubing

concerts: yo-yo ma fo’ free at the paramount, john d’earth with pete spaar at veritas starry nights

road trip: new orleans in a car without AC, heat, and radio, but with three of my favorite women

unexpectedly challenging moment: conducting U-Singers singing “Lux Aurumque” and “Silent Night” to a sea of wahoos during the lighting of the lawn

best piece of advice: “college is not a trade school”–good thing too, since I took a total of one science class, never went to class, and got a C…well, being a C student apparently didn’t stop some man from becoming president

unexpectedly life-changing moment: being introduced to my husband at the end of my first semester…by my boyfriend at the time

Wah-hoo-wah, wah-hoo-wah!  Uni-v, Virginia!  

Hoo-rah-ray, hoo-rah-ray, ray, ray–U-V-A!!!

Isn’t she beautiful?  There’s a reason she’s protected by the UN.

Remembering the purple shadows of the lawn,

the majesty of the colonnades,

and the dream of your youth,

you may say in reverence and thankfulness:

“I have worn the honors of Honor, I graduated from Virginia.”

It’s not everyday you get to attend a by-donation concert with so many of your obscenely talented musician-med student friends, playing and singing alongside physicians, PhDs, professors, and the occasional physician-professor child, either playing a violin concerto for memory while wearing an adorable sequin gold dress (which I kind of wish was made in adult sizes) or plucking a string bass that looked big enough to devour the small child.

Please excuse the pixelation…we’ll just call the photos “artistic.”

Not a particularly historic part of town.  Not a particularly talented photographer.  Pictures taken using a mobile phone and a shaky hand, on an unremarkable Wednesday in June.

Still.  Philadelphia, you so frequently take my breath away.

After a couple flight delays Monday night followed by an early morning train ride (during which I proceeded to fall asleep on the shoulder of the poor, unsuspecting businessman seated next to me, furiously typing away on his laptop…llllllllllllll), I rolled into school just in time for small group on Tuesday morning.  Needless to say, I was not the most eloquent when called upon to answer questions on Barrett’s esophagus (an abnormal change in some of the cells of the lower esophagus to resemble those of the intestines).

During situations like these, I typically don’t get all that much out of small group.  But Tuesday was different…on Tuesday, we had Franz as our preceptor.  He was outstanding.  He kept the small group both lively and efficient, asking specific, well-phrased questions, and bouncing around the class, not allowing students to be mere bystanders to discussion.  He related the cases to what he sees in clinic and made all the murky details make sense and feel relevant to our pursuit of medical understanding.  And, for students like me who couldn’t answer all the questions he directly asked (after the long weekend, there were many students like me), he did nothing to make us feel ashamed or embarrassed…in fact, I got the feeling that he appreciated the transient confusion, using it as a springboard to include some applicable anecdotes that would somehow make everything make sense.  I will always remember the signs and symptoms of cholecystitis (inflammation of the gall bladder) and that, if need be, I can fake my way out of a prison camp by complaining of severe (referred) pain radiating over my right scapula.

But now it’s so so tough to settle for anything less in a preceptor.  Franz, you may have ruined me.

I can’t get over this series of Ben with his niece.  She simply could not stop smiling when in his company (despite the feared stranger anxiety about which we learned in Brain & Behavior, part II).  She was also quite the show-stopper at the wedding, and her godparents (the newlyweds) were all too happy to pass on some of the limelight.

It occurred to me, Ben, that this whole wedding thing…we’ve really experienced a nice variety together:

• French Catholic–the three-day celebration
• New Orleans Nouveau Cajun-style, complete with Second Line
• Moroccan-Israeli “Henna” Wedding
• Virginian botanical gardens, where it’s acceptable to drink before noon
• Minnesotan…ironically, my first Jewish wedding in a synagogue, I think

Minneapolis might not draw out the same amount of the party animal as Old Jaffa…

…but, with the company assembled by Matt and Claire, it took us very little time to transition from this:

…to this:

Well played, friend.  Hopefully we didn’t cause too much trouble?

With his lovely wife:

His daughter:

The bride:

And me…oh dear:

I met him in Israel, looking like this…

…and now John and I can’t imagine our lives without you.  Just, maybe next time you and John go white water rafting, pick a day other than our anniversary and your wife’s birthday.  A happy wife is a happy life.

Lauren’s* Wedding Charge:

For those of you who did not read Matt and Claire’s meticulously created and beautiful website, you are missing out. For those of you that have,  I am the Lauren who repeatedly introduced Claire and Matt.

Matt and I are “second generation” friends; meaning, we go so “way back” that our moms began their friendship during college. Claire and I met in rabbinical school, where we bonded by passing copious notes back and forth to one another. (In a style a little less like university students and a little more like high school.)

When you first chose to get together, I spoke a few choice words to each of you: “If you do this, you can never break up. It will totally mess up my life.” I am elated not only that you followed my advice,  but that the two of you have flourished as a couple.

As you enter into this sacred relationship, we look to the very first relationship in Jewish tradition: Adam and Eve. The rabbis tell the following story about their experience:

From the day that Adam and Eve were exiled from the Garden of Eden, they lived together, tilling the earth, raising children, and struggling to stay alive. After many years of toil, when their children were grown, Adam and Eve decided to take a journey before it was too late and see the rest of the world. They traveled together from one corner of the earth to the other and explored all the world’s wonders. They stood upon the great mountains, trekked across the vast deserts, walked amid the mighty forests, and traversed the magnificent seas. They watched the sun rise over the endless wilderness and they saw it set into the boundless ocean. They beheld it all.

In the course of their journey, they came upon a place that seemed familiar: the Garden of Eden, from which they had been exiled on the very first day of their lives. But the Garden was locked and barred.

Suddenly, they heard a voice, gentle and imploring. It called: “My children, you have lived in exile these many, many years. Your punishment is complete. Come now; you may return to My Garden.”

Before their eyes, the locks disappeared and the gates swung open. But Adam hesitated.  He asked “It has been so many years since we lived there; remind me again what it is like in the garden?”

The response came: “The Garden is Paradise! There is no work; you need never toil or struggle again. There is no pain or suffering; there is no death. In the garden, there is no time – no yesterdays, no tomorrows, only endless today.”

Adam and Eve thought about a life with no work,  and no struggle.  No pain and no passage of time. And no death. An endless life of ease, with no tomorrow and no yesterday.

They looked at one another and saw the person with whom they had struggled to make a life and to take bread from the earth. To raise children, and to build a home. They read the lines of each other’s faces, all of the tragedies they had surmounted, and all of the joys they had cherished together. They saw in each other’s eyes all of the laughter, and all of the tears they had shared.

“No, thank You,” they said. They took one another’s hand, and Adam and Eve turned their backs on the Garden, to return home, to the paradise that they had created together.

Life is not perfect or even easy; you will face obstacles both great and small when trying to create a meaningful life for each other – building a safe, secure home, raising children, and bringing bread from the earth (or in Claire’s case, more like trying to bring bread from xanthan gum and tapioca flour).  Nonetheless your existence will be made more beautiful by the joys and challenges that you will face together.

It is my joy to offer you this blessing:

Our God and the God of our fathers and mothers, bestow blessings upon Claire and Matt as they unite their lives. Help them to thrive together. Teach them to share life’s joys and trials, and to grow in understanding and devotion. May love and companionship always abide within their home. May they grow together in health and contentment, ever grateful for this sacred union in their lives.

*You’ve all heard of Lauren before.  (If you haven’t, you really should.)  She’s the sister of my best friend and, truly, I think of her like my sister as well.  Lauren, thank you for creating (with Ben’s input) the ideal wedding charge for this pair of newlyweds who genuinely are perfect for one another.  And, for my part, rather selfishly, thank you for bringing them into my life and making me a part of their’s as well.  I love their friendship tremendously, and I’m thrilled to have had the opportunity to celebrate their union with all their family (a very broad definition of such).

Lauren & Alon.

I don’t think I’ve shared that I’m officially in the joint MD/MBE (Master of Bioethics) program at Penn.  I sorta fell into it haphazardly.  Penn Med (excuse me, the Perelman School of Medicine) has this awesome deal where med students can take up to three classes outside of the school of medicine free of charge (you know, free after the 48,000+/year in tuition).  In the fall, I was debating between a ceramics and a photography class, but I got sucked in to taking the intro to bioethics course instead, in large part because several classmates I hoped to befriend were enrolled in the course (I’m hugely susceptible to peer pressure).  Then I got hooked.  I really really enjoyed the class: the content; the teaching; the written components; the flexible attendance policy.

This past week was the first class meeting of my summer bioethics course: Global Health from an Anthropological Perspective (formerly entitled “Zombies, Witches, and Westerners,” but Nora felt like the class needed a more “academic-y” sounding name).  I wrote my MA thesis on diaspora, inherited trauma, and healing as depicted in the work of Haitian-American writer Edwidge Danticat, so the scope of this course feels right up my alley.  And–so fun!–toward the end of class, Nora showed the video I raved about in this post.  It’s going to be a great summer, and I can’t believe that, upon completion of this class, I’ll be halfway done with my MBE!