rejection

Last week was a big one for me.  I got a chance to interview at an exciting and supportive program and, in doing so, took my FIRST trip without dependents since Ari was born.  I felt so light leaving the house without a diaper bag complete with every possible snack (or “special treat”) I could use to bribe Ari into tolerating the carseat.  The five-hour drive felt surreal, and I caught myself periodically checking the backseat mirror for the girls.  I stayed with one of my best friends, and she insisted on sleeping on an air mattress in her dining room so I could sleep in her bed without disruption pre-interview.  Exhaustion overcame interview nerves, and I slept a solid seven hours!

I think the interview went okay, and the day itself was lovely.  Right before hitting the road for the long drive home, I got notice of my first formal rejection.  It stung.  The program that rejected me is, by all measures, excellent, and I would have received fantastic training there.  I have friends there that I respect a great deal, and with whom I would have loved to work.  But, even when first applying, I questioned whether I was a good fit for this program, whether it was a good fit for me.  So I’ve been nursing a wounded pride, but I’m also, oddly, finding myself trusting “the match” process more.  I feel more confident that my family and I will end up where we ought to be.

Just sprinkling some of Julie’s work into the coming posts…