Archive | January, 2013

singing to my daughter

31 Jan

singing 1

When all else fails, singing nearly always works.  At first I thought it was me.  I once glowingly told John, “You know, it sometimes feels like it’s been so long since college (and my music major days), I think I forgot that I’m actually good at this.”  Oh the arrogance!  I thought I was the freaking baby whisperer.  And then I saw Eric put her abruptly to sleep with a few choruses of “Row, row, row your boat.”

Thank you, Megan, for the picture above; it was a good moment.


sunday morning

27 Jan

sunday 2sunday 1

We are SO close to capturing her first giggles on video tape.  But she either sees us whip out the iPhone and goes silent, or we cut camera a split second before she starts chuckling (like below).  Right now she’s really digging some Mat Kearney…

welcome to day 100 of life!

24 Jan


My daughter somewhat resembles a troll doll, nest-ce pas?


our favorite

24 Jan

John got home from his overnight shift, ate some eggs, then fell asleep on the couch, a dram of scotch balanced precariously on his lap.  As Ari’s squawks from upstairs increased in frequency, I urged him to get up so he could join me in what’s become our favorite time of day–it’s also the least painful way of moving him from couch to bed.

Every morning, when she sees us in response to her high-pitched barks, her pissed-off pout melts away into the most heartwarmingly ecstatic grin you could ever imagine.  She starts cooing excitedly and kicking her legs wildly as if she’s saying, “OH!  It’s YOU!!!  I know you!  You’ve come to rescue me!!!”  And then she nestles so effortlessly against our chests.  It’s. The. Best.

favorite time 1favorite time 2

to my friends (pro-life & pro-choice)

23 Jan

Yesterday was an interesting day to go on Facebook.  Roe v. Wade was decided 40 years ago.  A number of my friends posted links or strongly worded sentiments to convey their opinions about the ruling.  Some of them, due to the manner of expression not the opinions themselves, offended me.  Some of them made me curious, namely this article (fact check strongly needed), this one and, most tragically, this story, which took place along my commute to and from school.  I think that the best way to not be heard would be to post another argument so, I assure you, this post is merely personal anecdote.

One day, but not today, I will write about my infertility diagnosis.  We received medical help in order to achieve pregnancy.  I look into my daughter’s face, I admire her small hands and feet and the healthy rolls of brown fat around her little thighs, and the idea of life without her is unfathomable.  We are so lucky.

And then I think about a conversation I had with one of my physicians a little over a year ago when we were concerned about hyper-stimulation and risks of multiple gestations and what our plans would be if we conceived more than twins.  Reduction of pregnancy is recommended for the safety of mother and the other fetuses.

And I think about the women I met during my OB rotation.  I think about the woman who had over three previous c-sections, fallopian tubes completely inaccessible due to scarring–another pregnancy was a serious threat to her health, yet, after discussing her options, her physician helped her continue with her pregnancy without judgment.  I think about the woman living in abject poverty who was pregnant less than four weeks after her last delivery; she couldn’t imagine doing it all again.  She chose a dilation and curettage, and then she scheduled an appointment for the Mirena.

Abortion sucks.  Everyone thinks so.  This summer I briefly worked with a physician who said that the only doctor who had performed more late-term abortions than he had was dead–he too thinks abortions suck.  I’m hopeful that people and systems are offering alternatives, and I hope they continue to.  But reason informs me that neither their access nor their impact will improve should abortion be made illegal.

Whether you’re pro-life or pro-choice, I doubt very much that anything I say could sway your opinion.  So, if you’re still reading, I think that the face of abortion is varied and profound, and the arguments surrounding them cannot be summarized by the extremes.  Psychopaths on either side exist, and they scare the shit out of me.  But neither Scott Roeder nor Dr. Kermit Gosnell is representative.

It saddens me deeply that we have, in part, stopped tolerating each other, that our arguments only serve to anger rather than challenge each other.  I am, by all accounts, an open book, yet the topic of abortion has become the only taboo in some of my friendships.  In my Facebook newsfeed, I feel shear rage emanating from some of the profiles.  I hope you’ll let me know what I can do to improve our conversation styles, to show you respect, as I hope you’ll show me.  In my humble opinion, this might be a good step in reducing abortions.

Along a similar topic…

hope in the next four

21 Jan
Taken by my friend Leslie at the Inauguration.

Taken by Leslie at the Inauguration.

We, the people, declare today that the most evident of truths —- that all of us are created equal —- is the star that guides us still; just as it guided our forebears through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall; just as it guided all those men and women, sung and unsung, who left footprints along this great Mall, to hear a preacher say that we cannot walk alone; to hear a King proclaim that our individual freedom is inextricably bound to the freedom of every soul on Earth.

It is now our generation’s task to carry on what those pioneers began. For our journey is not complete until our wives, our mothers and daughters can earn a living equal to their efforts.  Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law —- for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well.  Our journey is not complete until no citizen is forced to wait for hours to exercise the right to vote.  Our journey is not complete until we find a better way to welcome the striving, hopeful immigrants who still see America as a land of opportunity — until bright young students and engineers are enlisted in our workforce rather than expelled from our country.  Our journey is not complete until all our children, from the streets of Detroit to the hills of Appalachia, to the quiet lanes of Newtown, know that they are cared for and cherished and always safe from harm.

~President Barack Obama, January 13, 2013

I love that our daughter was born while this man was in office, was present during his reelection, was developing her so impressionable personality while these words were spoken.

coming home

19 Jan


Wouldn’t it be sweet if I said that it was only this little hobgoblin that got me into my car and out of the city, back home before midnight?  In truth, as I alluded to so very awkwardly to a few friends this evening, dilemma #9 is what I have to look forward to if I’m out past curfew.  When you have a growing babe who vomits half of what she eats and therefore eats all the time, it is difficult to be away more than three hours without feeling like a porn star…and, with stretched out flabby abs, a porn star well past her glory days.

God I wonder what my kid will think when she discovers this blog…