There’s a fabulous gynecologic oncologist who we each get to work with for a week on Ob/Gyn. He gives us nicknames, things like “Junior” or “Goose.” Guess mine?
So…he was teasing me last week for being “like 43 weeks pregnant” as I struggled to squeeze between the table and the robot in the OR. With no clever retort in mind (early days lead to a slow sense of humor), I think I said something along the lines of, “Hey, I’m only 29 weeks and change here!” ”29 WEEKS?!! What have you been packing, FATSO?” (I can’t be offended because I figure that he would never call me that if it was true…right? RIGHT?)
He also loves to do things like introduce me to a patient and quickly explain without prompting, “And, no, she’s not really pregnant, so don’t make a thing about it, <through side mouth> she’s really sensitive about it…” The horrified looks in response! I guess when you cure people’s cancer, you can get away with being just a little “endearingly” inappropriate.
Lessons from oncology (not to get all preachy):
- If you can, please get your gardasil. Even if you’re not going to have sex for decades…like many vaccines, it actually is more effective if you get your doses younger.
- Seriously, pap smears, a pain in the ass, granted…but the combination of pap smear screening and HPV testing reduces a woman’s risk of dying of cervical cancer by 90%. What other cancer screen does that?
- If you’re over 35 and experience abnormal vaginal bleeding (whether a drop or a bucket), please see a doctor. Endometrial cancer is one of the few malignancies that actually flies its own red flag before it’s not too late to do something about it.